Travis Scott, the ‘Astroworld ’ hit maker, filled his house with flowers last week, ‘just because’, to surprise his girl, Kylie Jenner. Apart from the occasional pessimist, who only saw how much cleaning work was needed after the sparks had settled, there was general consensus that Jacques Webster is a very romantic man, and the rest of the man dems should raise their game 😏.
What exactly is romance? 🤔 We know the stereotypical gold standard, The Taj Mahal in India, an architectural piece of art, standing the test of time, while wowing both romantics and connoisseurs of art. The rest is at the discretion of chocolate companies, jewelers, luxury car and holiday dealers, real estate companies and florists.
A general sentiment among Kenyan women is that their male country men are as romantic as images of a snow-filled Nairobi in December are not photoshopped 😒. That Nigerians are more romantic. Courteous, bearded men, with big muscles everywhere, carrying hand bags, smelling like the money they have in large supply.
I had a friend that liked a girl 😍. She was good looking, she worked for what she had, she was well-behaved; she looked like the real deal. He was smitten. For her birthday, a few weeks after they met, he bought her flowers, chocolate, a customized gift and had them delivered to her office with an accompanying hand-made card. He’d make her meals. See her everyday. He even made reservations at an exclusive restaurant, just to show commitment. It doesn’t make sense to expect her to like him, just because he went out, we like who we like, and she made it clear she wasn’t interested, (after accepting all the gifts and goodies 😳).
I think being romantic isn’t only flowers, chocolates, reservations in a restaurant where half the menu is in French and the waiters look like they earn waaaaay more than you. I think romance is someone showing affection 😊. I like to write, and I’m very expressive. If I like you, then there’s very little I won’t do for you. That means I’ll write letters, I’ll plan picnics, I’ll rub your back just because I have hands, I’ll make you hand-made crafts. That is me. There are people who will show you how they feel by paying for your food, or taking away financial obligations so you don’t have to worry about them. There are those that’ll push you to achieve your dreams. There are those that’ll remind you of your beauty every day.
When you’re a cane farmer in Muhoroni, and the nearest florist is in Kericho, it’s sweet when you cook for the family to relieve your partner. When you’re a youth in Dandora and you bring home the KFC chicken that you got at work so your person can say they’ve ever had KFC. When you let your partner ask you questions about IT/Banking/Medicine/Music and you answer patiently, so they are more informed. When you congratulate them on seemingly small victories, to boost their esteem. When you help them file their tax returns, or apply for a job, or fix the typos on their CVs. When you communicate and follow up what you feel with action, then that is being romantic for me.
We have let societal standards creep into the way of our happiness 😞. That romance without flowers and flowers is non-existent. That expensive gifts mean they are committed to you, it could be commitment, and could also be guilt. Happiness is happiness. Whether it’s on a shawl on a park’s bench, sharing a packet of crisps. Whether it’s ice cream after church. Whether it’s an invite to a family event. Roses smell nice, they look even better, but they might as well be thorns if they are the only thing that can make one happy.
Travis Scott is a dollar millionaire, with lots of plugs for different things 💲💲. Holding your loved one to his standards will not only leave you disappointed, it will break them trying to bend over backwards for you. Kylie is almost a dollar billionaire, with access to grade A surgeons, you can’t hold your partners’ physique to her. You will hurt yourself, and them even more.
Romance ❤ should be about happiness, not about helping meet the quarterly targets for luxury items sales team.