I had writer’s block this last week, and I asked my friends to share with me topics I’d write on my blog. The first suggestion I got was “The curse of the sidechick”, basically why men in committed relationships end up cheating.

End up on Tinder. Swiping left only when they see someone who can’t be trusted to keep the secret. End up hitting on the waitress at their local, hiding the Whatsapp chat through cryptic phone patterns. Having sex in their friend’s houses or in nondescript lodgings. Spending time, and resources, on maintaining affairs that when they finally are exposed, leave everyone hurt and angry.

I heard from a drunk man, who in his drunken stupor talked too much, that he feels like he skipped a stage, and he is compensating. That money came conjoined with a girlfriend that he promptly made a wife, and he didn’t have a chance to ‘enjoy’ his youth. That he now gets his high from parking-lot sex, and the thrill that comes with it. Pregnancies and STDs not withstanding.

He said his wife is a sweet woman that doesn’t deserve whatever she’s getting, but he’s helpless. That he’ll stop when the time is right, when he gets a fill of the debauchery and lust that accompanies such illicit relationships. I beat him at the game of pool that we played next, although it was probably because he kept staring at the waitress’ behind every time she was delivering orders.

I would love for a psychologist to engage with me, and tell me at what point people normalize cheating. That men refuse to leave a woman they ‘love’, instead having a string of lovers outside of the relationship, and women make excuses for their men, and assume responsibility for the man failing to keep it wrapped up.

I don’t think sidechicks cook better food, or treat you better, or have better sex. I think men get content, and with the contempt that comes from familiarity, they get greedy. The cheap thrill that comes with a new conversation, a new conquest is justified for as long as the flame is lit. I also think there is a need for people to date partners they love truly, because we’d have fewer cases of infidelity of people were scared of hurting the feelings of someone they love.

There is, at least in my opinion, no curse of the sidechick, just a huge contemptuous, ungrateful and greedy male population, and an equally large desperate, ignorant-of-their-worth female population. A potent mix that allows for greed to fester, and for side chicks to be glamorized by the men, and accommodated by the women.

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